Additional Resources for Changing the World from the Inside Out
by Rabbi David Jaffe
Access the resources in PDF form here:
Learning the Sources & Further Study
Practice Kavod
Learn the Sources
The term “Kavod/כבוד” can be translated as “respect,” “dignity,” or “honor.” To begin our exploration of the meaning of this term let’s look at two quotes from Rabbi Shlomo Wolbe’s introduction to the middah of Kavod in his Aley Shor II:
“The word “Kavod” is from the Hebrew root “K.V.D.” (which means weighty or heavy). The diametric opposite is the word “Klala”(curse) which comes from the Hebrew root “K.L.” (light). When I relate to someone with due seriousness I honor him, and if I treat him lightly it is as if I curse him.”
“…Kavod is external behavior mandated by and appropriate to a reality of inner holiness. Behold, you have within you a Tzelem Elokim Kadosh (holy divine image) – this requires you to treat yourself with a certain level of self-respect…”
How do these ideas find expression or not in the following statements about Kavod in Pirkei Avot, chapter 4:
“Rabbi Elazar HaKapar says: Three things drive a person from the world – jealousy, base desires and kavod.”
רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר הַקַּפָּר אוֹמֵר, הַקִּנְאָה וְהַתַּאֲוָה וְהַכָּבוֹד מוֹצִיאִין אֶת הָאָדָם מִן הָעוֹלָם:
“Ben Zoma says…Who is honorable? One who honors all others.”
אֵיזֶהוּ מְכֻבָּד, הַמְכַבֵּד אֶת הַבְּרִיּוֹת
What does it mean to be driven from the world?
For a further examination of the inner dimension of Kavod, see the ideas of the following two 20th century thinkers:
1. Shalom Noach Barzofsky (The Slonimer Rebbe). This excerpt is a commentary on the quote above from Pirke Avot 4:1:
When the Mishnah asks, “Who is dignified?” it does not mean, “Who is made dignified by other people,” as is the common understanding. What value is there in being dependent on other people giving you dignity? Rather, “Who is dignified? One who gives dignity to all people” is teaching that the gaze of one person to another is like glancing in the mirror – if his face is dirty he will see in the mirror a dirty face. So it is the same when a person looks at the other – the amount that he is pure and refined internally, so he will look more generously upon the other and see good attributes. On the other hand, if he is infected with bad attributes and behaviors, so he will see bad attributes in everyone else. Therefore, the truly dignified person is the one who treats all people with dignity, who appreciates all people. This behavior is the true sign that he is dignified himself.
2. Rabbi Abraham Isaac HaCohen Kook – Middot Harayah: Kavod 4
The more lacking one is in inner perfection, the more nature will seek to gain perfection on an outer level. It is only in a state of low-level spirituality that there will be aroused in a person a desire to glorify himself before others, both with the virtues he possesses and with others he does not possess. It is therefore important for a person to enhance his level of inner perfection, and his self-assessment in relation to others shall always be in the proper measure.
What do you think “inner perfection” means?
What experience do you have with the relationship between self –kavod and giving kavod to others?
For Further study
The following Biblical, Talmudic, Medieval and Modern sources explore different facets of Kavod.
Source 1: The following Biblical, Talmudic and Modern sources explore Human Uniqueness:
וַיֹּאמֶר אֱלֹהִים נַעֲשֶׂה אָדָם בְּצַלְמֵנוּ כִּדְמוּתֵנוּ
And God said, “Let us make the human being in our image and likeness. (Genesis 1:26)
נברא אדם יחידי בעולם ללמד שכל המאבד נפש אחת מעלין עליו כאילו איבד עולם מלא וכל המקיים נפש אחת מעלין עליו כאילו קיים עולם מלא
Humans were created unique, to teach that anyone who destroys a life it is as if he destroyed an entire world. And anyone who sustains a life it is as if he sustained an entire world. Jerusalem Talmud Sanhedrin 23a, Chapter 4, Mishna 9
We must recognize and know that the mitzvah to imitate God is not an impossible decree …to become different than we are; rather, this great mitzvah befits us, especially once God has revealed this great love by informing us that we were created in God’s image. The Divinity within us obligates us to become whom we really are in potential, whom we were created to be – to release the potential within each of us and become people who truly reflect God’s image. A Talk by Rav Nosson Tzvi Finkel zt’l, the “Alter of Slobodka” (1849-1927). Translated by Rabbi Nosson Scherman, from the Greatness Within Website
Questions:
What does being made in the “Divine image” imply for us as humans?
How is destroying or sustaining a single life equivalent to destroying or sustaining a world? What might be meant by “world?”
What behaviors, habits and/or practices do you do already that “reflects God’s image?”
What might you do differently if you were to intentionally “reflect God’s image?”
Source 2: Mishneh Torah, Laws of Character Development, 5:2,9 (Maimonides, d. 1204, Egypt)
כשהחכם אוכל מעט זה הראוי לו לא יאכלנו אלא בביתו על שולחנו ולא יאכל בחנות ולא בשוק אלא מפני צורך גדול כדי שלא יתגנה בפני הבריות
מלבוש תלמיד חכם מלבוש נאה ונקי ואסור לו שימצא בבגדו כתם או שמנונית
When the wise man eats the little which is fitting for him, he should eat it only in his own home, at his table. He should not eat in a store or in the marketplace, unless there is a very pressing need, lest he be viewed by others as lacking in self-respect…
A Torah Sage’s clothing should be attractive and clean. It is forbidden that [a] blood or fat [stain] or the like be found on his garment.
Questions:
Why would eating in a store or marketplace be seen as a sign of lack of self-respect?
How do you react to these external markers of respect and self-respect? Why do you think you react this way?
In what external ways do you communicate self-respect?
What do you think should be the appropriate role for clothes and other externalities in the practice of Kavod.
Source 3: Pirkei Avot 4:3
אַל תְּהִי בָז לְכָל אָדָם, וְאַל תְּהִי מַפְלִיג לְכָל דָּבָר, שֶׁאֵין לְךָ אָדָם שֶׁאֵין לוֹ שָׁעָה וְאֵין לְךָ דָבָר שֶׁאֵין לוֹ מָקוֹם:
He (Ben Azzai) used to say: Do not be scornful of any person and do not be disdainful of anything, for you have no person without his hour and no thing without its place.”
Questions:
What kinds of people or things are you prone to disregard as insignificant? Why?
Have you ever been disregarded? What happened and how did it feel?
How might you act differently if you internalized Ben Azzai’s advice?
Source 4: Pirkei Avot 4:18
(יב) רַבִּי אֶלְעָזָר בֶּן שַׁמּוּעַ אוֹמֵר, יְהִי כְבוֹד תַּלְמִידְךָ חָבִיב עָלֶיךָ כְּשֶׁלָּךְ, וּכְבוֹד חֲבֵרְךָ כְּמוֹרָא רַבָּךְ, וּמוֹרָא רַבָּךְ כְּמוֹרָא שָׁמָיִם:
Rabbi Elazar ben Shamua said: Let the honor or your student be as dear to you as your own; the honor of your colleague as the reverence for your teacher; and the reverence for your teacher as the reverence of heaven.”
Questions:
In each stage we are instructed to give honor at a level that is one step higher than expected. What might the effect of this strategy be on the giver of honor?
What is easy and what is challenging for you about honoring your students? Your colleagues? Your teachers?
Source 5: Talmud Bavli Kiddushin 31b
ת”ר …ואיזהו כיבוד …מאכיל ומשקה מלביש ומכסה מכניס
Our sages taught: What is Kavod ? … to feed them, give them drink, dress them, cover them and accompany them.
Questions:
Why do you think Kavod is defined by the Rabbis as specifically physical assistance given to aging parents?
If you have taken care of an aging parent in this way, how was it an experience of Kavod?
What are other ways you honor your parents?
How does honoring parents relate to the other ways you understand Kavod (eg. uniqueness, dignity)?
Practice: Kavod/Dignity
Jewish Wisdom about Kavod
Everyday Holiness, Dr. Alan Morinis, chapter 13
The Moral Principles, Rabbi Abraham Isaac HaKohen Kook, Translated by Rabbi Ben Zion Bokser
Focus Phrases
Choose a phrase to repeat out loud for a minute or two each morning. You can adapt the phrases to your own language. Write the phrase on an index card and put it somewhere you will see it each morning. Some people tape the card to their car dashboard or computer.
“Kavod is external behavior mandated by and appropriate to a reality of inner holiness.” – R. Shlomo Wolbe
אֵיזֶהוּ מְכֻבָּד, הַמְכַבֵּד אֶת הַבְּרִיּוֹת
“[Ben Zoma said]: Who is honorable? One who honors all others.” – Pirkei Avot 4:1
אַל תְּהִי בָז לְכָל אָדָם, וְאַל תְּהִי מַפְלִיג לְכָל דָּבָר, שֶׁאֵין לְךָ אָדָם שֶׁאֵין לוֹ שָׁעָה וְאֵין לְךָ דָבָר שֶׁאֵין לוֹ מָקוֹם:
“He (Ben Azzai) used to say: Do not be scornful of any person and do not be disdainful of anything, for you have no person without his hour and no thing without its place.” – Pirkei Avot 4:3
“It is only in a state of low-level spirituality that there will be aroused in a person a desire to glorify himself before others, both with the virtues he possesses and with others he does not possess.” – Rabbi Abraham Isaac HaKohen Kook
“Transform blood to stillness” – Rabbi Nachman of Breslov
Guided Meditation
This is best done with a group or at least a partner. Have one person read the meditation while the others follow the instructions read by the leader.
Find a comfortable place to sit or lie down.
Feel the weight of your body against the chair or ground.
Rest your hands on your lap or at your sides.
Gently let your eyelids close.
Take three deep breaths, inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.
Imagine yourself or someone else as made in the Divine image.
What are you or this other person worth?
How much is your car, your home, your bicycle worth?
You or this other person are more valuable than these things.
Add up all the value of everything in the world and we are worth more than that.
What would it take for you to really believe that?
What does it mean to be unique?
Imagine one ball, and then two, three, five, 10, 20 , 100, 500, 2000, 50,000, 1 million balls all different from each other in some way.
All unique.
This is humanity – we are all different from each other in some essential way.
What does it mean to be equal?
2+2=4
2 pounds of coffee beans and 2 pounds of quarters – they are not the same but have equal weight.
Our souls are unique but have equal weight as Divine.
What difference would it make in how you related to people if you really believed that we have infinite value, are equal and unique? If you knew that you had infinite value, were unique and equal to all others?
Visualization I
This exercise can be done individually or with a group. If a group, choose one person to read the description once through.
Recall a time you were criticized or insulted, especially if it happened publicly.
Imagine your heart in that moment pounding hard with adrenaline.
Blood pumps quickly into your left ventricle and your heart expands and contracts.
Expands and contracts quickly.
Sit with this image until you can see the blood raging in your heart.
Take a deep breath.
Now imagine the blood slowing down to a steady pace.
The walls of the ventricle return to pumping in a regular, moderate rhythm.
In and out smoothly and gently.
The blood is now a slow, lazy river.
In comparison to the raging torrent moments before the heart seems still in its gentle, but steady beat.
Out of this stillness a space grows in the left ventricle
This space allows breath and air to enter the heart and cool it down.
Imagine this spaciousness filled with clarity about your Divine inheritance.
Visualization II
Eating quickly while walking through the market is the talmud’s image of not having self-respect. What is your image of self-respect, of knowing you are made in the Divine image? What are you wearing? How are you walking and carrying yourself? What are you talking about? What do you look like?
Contemplation I
This exercise can be done individually or with a group. If a group, choose one person to read the description once through.
Contemplate the idea that social change activism is about making the Divine image in each person more manifest in the world. What would it mean for social change efforts if this were really the goal?
Contemplation II
Contemplate the possibility that you never again need to seek praise or recognition.
What would you feel?
What impact would this have on your life?
Kabbalot
The kabbalot are designed to do individually. If you are using this book with a group give people a few minutes to choose a kabbalah and close the session with people sharing which kabbalah they are going to practice until the next meeting.
Choose someone in your family, organization or community and deliberately do something to honor him or her. Choose a different person each day. Vary between people who have more power than you (eg. Your boss or a superior at work) and people have less power than you (your children or someone you supervise).
Practice turning DaM to DoM. Each day when confronted with an insult, attack, or some perceived slight to your honor, be still and quiet for at least one minute before responding.
Notice each day at least once how you seek praise.
Once each day notice yourself doing something good, or doing something well.
Once each day notice someone else doing something good, or doing something well.
Choose one 30 minute period during the day and during that time do whatever you can to honor anyone who comes your way.
Do one thing each day that demonstrates Kavod for yourself.
Cheshbon Hanefesh
Set aside five to ten minutes at some point in the day to either journal or do the hitbodedut practice answering these questions.
What good points did you notice in yourself or others?
What choice points did you notice in honoring others?
In what ways do you seek praise and recognition?
In what ways do you and the people you work with to make change model or not model the dignity you are trying to bring to others?
How is your Kavod aligned or not with your understanding at this moment of God’s will for you or what the universe is calling for from you right now?
How is your level of Kavod expressing or working against your own deep desire/will?
Sichat Chaverim
- Trade turns listening to each other for 2 minutes talking about a good point from the day and anything else the speaker wants to get off his or her chest
- Journal quietly for five minutes about the Cheshbon Hanefesh questions
- Trade turns listening to each other for 10 minutes talk about the experience with the focus phrase, kabbalot, Cheshbon Hanefesh, meditation, visualization and contemplation. Then discuss any insights or challenges with Kavod that came up during the week. End with a commitment for practice for the next week.